In our universe, meanwhile, I’d expect “Shallow” by Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper to land on, like, Now 69.

It’s a big reason why Now 38’s Points Average is so high, and hence why Now 38 ranks so high (though “Fuck You” by Cee Lo Green and “Grenade” by Bruno Mars also do some heavy lifting). The Now albums are remarkably more proficient at declaring what music is in the present, rather than attempting to determine what music will be in the future. A hot take: “Need You Now” is one of the best songs of the decade, across all genres; it’s probably top five. It’s just a whole bunch of boasting—all done in the third person—directed at a woman going through one of the hardest periods of her life.Due to licensing issues, these re-compiled versions often use alternative mixes such as album versions.

There’s also the song “Bartender,” and while it’s never specified whether this bartender is working at a strip club or just a regular bar, the dynamics of a relationship between a patron and a bartender and that of a patron and a stripper are similar enough to conclude that T-Pain has once again misinterpreted “working for tips” to mean “true love. These compilations are very similar to the anniversary series, however, they contain a lower amount of tracks and retailed much cheaper than the former series. To appropriately rank the Now albums, I devised a formula to take into account the commercial success, accolades, and feeling of essentialness of each song featured. The thesis of “Chanté’s Got a Man” is “Oh dang, it’s really too bad your boyfriend is cheating on you, but guess what: I’m in a very stable, rewarding relationship. fm, compilation album tracks appear under the name of Various Artists erroneously because the individual artist is not listed in the album's ID3 information.Overall, Now 55 is not this high because of the quality of the DJ songs (well, except for “Where Are Ü Now,” which is perfect)—it’s this high because of the charting success of the DJ songs, and the overwhelming commercial success of Ed Sheeran’s “Thinking Out Loud,” which also lands on Now 55. Now 60 is the worst-case scenario for that strategy, as it features an irrelevant song from the “All About That Bass” girl, a useless track from the “livin’ like we’re renegades” band, and an even worse song from the guy who sings in seven-year intervals. Have you ever listened to the lyrics of “Something Just Like This,” the Chainsmokers/Coldplay song that’s on Now 63? Even with songs like “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” ( Now 45) and “You Belong With Me” ( Now 32), Swift was getting slotted into spots usually reserved for country singers like Keith Urban and Jason Aldean.